Let's talk about sex first.. it often is considered a three lettered word that gets spelled out to protect innocent ears. Why? Sex is a good thing and a wonderful thing that can be shared between a husband and a wife. I think one of the main reasons that S-E-X is not something we talk about to everyone openly about is the sacredness of it. The LDS church view on martial sexual intimacy is becoming one. Elder Holland said "That sexual union is a welding in matrimony a physical blending symbolic of a larger more complete union of eternal purpose and promise a symbol of total union of their hearts, their hopes, their lives, their love, their family, their future and their everything.
This doesn't just sound like the physical act of S-E-X. Satan and our world have cheapened the idea of actually getting any thing else out of sex but satisfaction. The term "SEX sells" is sadly true. One of the things I hate is how women are plastered everywhere in magazines and in commercials wearing very little clothes and are overly sexualized. Especially as a mother of a now 16 year old boy. I don't want him to see women that way or my 14 year old daughter who thinks she needs to look like that and dress like that to get a boys attention. No thanks! What can we do to prevent this is our families? How can we make sure we all can keep a healthy and and an appropriate God- Centered view of sexual relations?
1. Talk about it! I know this is hard but it is so important to keep the topic on the table and not let it turn taboo with your children. I want my kids to ASK ME any questions that they have or have been misinformed about by their peers. I don't want them to feel like they have to look elsewhere for those answers. I want them to know sex is okay and even wonderful INSIDE of marriage. I want them to know I waited and they can too. When you talk about it include Heavenly Father and church principles, and explain how much happier following God's plan makes you.
2. Dress- this is mainly for girls, sexist but true. Since my girls have been babies I have been very conservative of what they wear. I am not talking the Duggars or making them dress like pioneers but just teaching them to be modest since they were babies. I have not let them wear bikinis or sleeveless dresses or shirts. This has been a hard thing to do in Arizona where it is always so hot but I always just put a white shirt underneath those cute sundresses and found the cute one piece swimsuit. I think in doing this I have won the fight (so far anyways) with my girls now that they are going through puberty and have something to show in those spaghetti strap tank tops or bikinis. They don't feel comfortable NOT wearing something underneath because they have always been covered. I try and reinforce positive body image with them as much as possible too. I have always been cautious to use words like "healthy" instead of fat, diet or wanting to be skinnier. I want my girls to be proud of their bodies and know why we have to have hips and chests and how that helps get our bodies ready to be a mother someday.
3. Limit WORLDLY images and movies in our homes- We can't control what the world does or how they advertise but we can control what we allow in our homes. We can choose not to watch movies that have the lustful sex scenes. We can chose what we read in front of our children and what we say.
4. Have a healthy and loving relationship with our spouse- We are teaching our children everyday how we should be should be treated in a loving, kind relationship. The way I allow my husband to treat me is teaching my girls what to expect and hope for in their own marriage someday. The way I show my love and take care of my husband is probably something my son will look for and hope for in a wife.
Sex is a wonderful thing to share with your partner and something you both should talk about openly with each other as well. This is sometimes a hard thing for some to talk about because of it being such a taboo subject while growing up. (Another reason I want my kids to feel like they can talk about it with us and future spouses) Sex is a way for couples to connect and feel close together. This is something both partners are on the same page with and are feeling like they are communicating about often that both are happy in that relationship.
Sex also is has the power to create life. This is another reason that it is so sacred because you have the possibility of bringing another human being into the world each time and it should not be taken lightly or without that commitment to each other.
This brings up the next subject of Fertility. If you and your spouse are physically able to have and conceive children you need to discuss and pray with your spouse and Heavenly Father in the decision in how many children to have and when. This is a very personal and private decision for many. We should not judge others if we feel they have too many or not enough. This is each families decision to make not yours and often you don't know all the reasons behind their successes or struggles to have children. Infertility is something that is becoming more and more common and something people are finally talking about as well. I have had a couple of sister-n-laws that have struggled to get pregnant and the last thing they need is someone's judgement for not expanding their family as quickly as others.
I tried to find funny pictures about this subject but that is a google search I don't ever want to do again! haha! So inside I am going to provide links to some of my favorite marriage and sexual intimacy in marriage talks.... HERE and HERE
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